I woke up wondering ... should I take time off from the internet? To see what it might be like going back to that kind of life. I have seriously forgotten that life. It's been so long. It's not that I don't enjoy blogging. It's that I am curious. I remember a while back when I was working in New York City, commuting every day. I was in a crowd, we, like a sheep, all moving in the same direction, packed into a subway tunnel. Not JUST going.
All of a sudden I stopped. Stood there for a moment and turned around. They oozed around me. Kept going. I walked the other way and got on a train and went home. I never went back. Which is not my intention here. But it was not my intention then either. It's just the way it happened. And it amazed me really. It was just time. To change directions. That is how I came to be here!!! It's quite amazing isn't it? How it might go? Or not. Just thinking.
and can't help myself. Might I be satisfied with this sort of thing? Fleeting Patchwork? A moment later, just a pile. The biggest thought I came a way with yesterday. Create a sense of space. Understand scale as a sense of space. Not a new thought. Just a reminder. It's almost May. May will be the month of the Endless Wishing Cloth. April is awash with rain and loose patches.
I wish I could explain this better. I am always in conflict about connection and being alone. There has never been anyway to resolve it. I just rock back and forth and rest when comfort comes. I have reached a place where everything might change. What I need has changed and therefore, naturally, what I want is sympathetically evolving. I think I need more space in my work, to reflect this. Will I have enough time to finish larger works? Why am I even thinking like that? I'm not that old. I feel good.
Perhaps selling my work has influenced my output. I have always made small pieces as studies for larger ones. Some how they have taken over as pieces in themselves. I still have a lot of big cloth here. And I got tangled up in something else this past year. I'm rambling because I am very confused at the moment. A good part of it is Spring Fever. The other part is self reflection, maybe because in organizing all my notes and symbols and techniques for Feel Free I have found myself at a crossroads.